Kerry Watson: From Breakdown to Breakthrough

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Welcome to another episode of fly.Mum fly today we have a remarkable guest Carrie.Watson who has embarked on a transformative journey of self-discovery and personal growth.After her kids left home, through the practice of morning,journaling and guided.By Julia Cameron's renowned book the artists way, she began her quest for self-love this led her to delve into her past healing from repressed experiences.While nurturing her Yourself through pain, shame and loneliness embracing her creativity, carry explored painting.And I'm Earth to Childhood.Traumas, enabling, forgiveness.And self-care her journey culminated in the publication of her Memoir.And she now finds fulfillment in volunteering and furthering her studies.Join us as we delve into her inspiring story and the lessons she has learned along the way Carrie.Hello.Hi Bobby.How are you?Good.Worried.I am so happy to hear another Australian accent.I guessed for the listeners, when I just connected with Carrie, before I press that record button, it kind of took me by surprise that an Australian was answering back because you kind of become so ingrained with the American accent and hearing it all the time, it's a little shock to the system but it's such a pleasant one.It makes my heart swell a little bit because I instantly feel Connected to Australia whereabouts in Australia, are you?I'm on the Gold Coast in Queensland.That's wonderful.So for anyone who doesn't know Australia, the Gold Coast would probably be equivalent to Miami in Florida and that general area.So, welcome to the program.Thank you, Bobby.Oh, you're so welcome.It's going to be a great conversation.I'm so interested with the path that you have traveled.So Tell me what led you to decide that you needed to focus on self love in your life.Well I was sort of forced out of parenting due to a breakdown that I'd had and the doctors had put me on a whole lot of medication which nearly took my life.So I stayed with my sister for a few months then came back to Queensland and then did a vision board to manifest home and a car which became available within two weeks of Dilma.My vision board.So everything was provided for me.So I was able to leave all the Furnishings home back for my daughter at her dad's and so, then living on my own I wanted to uncover a lot of stuff from my childhood I guess and I'd already started delving into the artists way.But I was also studying A Course in Miracles so I experienced a lot of spiritual things as well.And that of course, the breakdown at sort of pushed me back a bit, but I got into it in Of 2022.And I did it for a whole 12 months.I had my son's wedding coming up.So I wanted to, you know, do a bit of inquiry and see if there was any unhidden, resentments and pain and stuff before I went to my son's wedding to sort of meet up with his Dad, I didn't want to turn up and be like an emotional, I don't know.So work through a lot of that through writing and a lot of guidance that came along from a lot of Julia's.Julia Cameron's books, especially the listening path.That helped me to go with guidance.And I also started doing paint-by-numbers because a friend had passed away to breast cancer.So I wanted to heal the repressed emotions around that as well and then that just started a 12 month journey of journaling everyday paint-by-numbers every day.Going to the beach and breaking codependency like being my own person.And finding out what I love.You know, like going to the gardens and seeing all the beautiful flowers, the trees, the beach.A lot of things on my own and enjoying my own company.I thought it was an opportunity to discover who I was,because I lost all on myself, even lost all of my clothing.I didn't know what I liked.So I rebuilt my whole life, my whole wardrobe, and my own individuality, and it's been beautiful.But they're my daughter's just moved back a few months ago so for a Little while reading information about you, you have had a significant amount of trauma in your lifetime.Do you think the breakdown was perhaps a necessary Catalyst for you to be able to embark on this remarkable?Journey of inner work that you've been doing?Yes.I look at it as a breakthrough because I had, I've been single parenting for like, probably 28 years.I've got two sons and a daughter so the sons of from my ex-husband and my daughter was from a relationship with.I think I didn't really have too many strong boundaries with my daughter and if she hit teenage years she got always under her spell.So to speak.I was just people pleasing.And to the point where I wore myself out, I didn't have very good boundaries plus, I was working in disabilities, which sort of was really hard.So I was there for other kids are not my daughter and, you know, from Um, unpacking all this stuff with guidance and stuff like that, because I always want to know why, you know,like why children are rebelling and sometimes it's not exposed or gets unfolded to later on in life.And it was only October last year that she had stopped taking drugs and had repressed memories of a relationship goals in seven years ago, where the man had been sexually like touching her.So she's dealt with that in a really mature spiritual way.So far and she's really grown from it from opening up, which is not doing drugs or anything anymore.So I had to go through a lot of stuff and it's sort of helped me understand why it was so hard with her and her behaviors and stuff.Like, I just, I'm just thinking what is going on,but it was good because it helped me, you know, understand my parents trauma and the alcoholism in our family and a whole lot of clothes heartedness.So it's Sort of I came out I guess going through a lot of vulnerability and coming out the other side with awareness and more compassion and less judgments.And yet, we're at a beautiful stage.Now, like a part of his life when he hurry up and going,because I really like that freedom.But we're connecting.It's like,it's like the universe is thrown aback in.And when you haven't finished yet and it's been beautiful.I so love your outlook and perspective on all of this and it really struck a chord with me before When you said that your breakdown was in fact, a breakthrough often.It just does us the world of good if we reframe words.And and that it for me, that is so powerful.Reframing, your breakdown as a breakthrough in what part of that process.Did you realize hang on?This is not what I thought it was going to be, but in fact,it might be something really good and purposeful in.My life, I didn't really think too far out of each day, because I was pretty vulnerable.And I knew that I needed to discover who I am, instead of following footsteps of my own family,we're like I'm on a disability.But to me, that's an opportunity to heal and grow and then do something from that.And after doing my Memoir, like I did a 30-day book Challenge and I was pretty much on my knees through that and a lot of stuff came up and You know, the angry child was coming through and sort of got through it.After I wrote that Memoir, my passion came back.Because many years ago I wanted to work in like court support fed people that have in the DV domestic violence and staff and I lost all that and it came back and it's just given me like my purpose, you know?So, I'm sort of doing the DVD of just had like, a little bit of training last week and I went and sat into a courtroom and there was a man there.It was a similar situation to what my daughter had gone through.But it was really good because I was able to sit there and just have empathy I guess for both parties and also knowing that there's an underlying traumas that cause people to do that.But I'm also going to balance it out with my spirituality as well.So I've like sort of got my foot in like a few different areas and I don't know how it's going to unfold, I'm just sort of learning more about.I'm very intuitive and an empath.So I need to spend a lot of time in nature, so I don't get overwhelmed with too many energies and I'm still learning how to do more care around the energy factors for when people different people come into my house and stuff.Yeah, it's been pretty powerful and with my Memoir that have published it, but I'm really wanting that just for my children to read.When I've passed over, it's like I don't care if people buy it but the purpose was for my children sitting here, listening to you and I can see you on the screen here in front of me.I'm just it's quite confronting because you have been through so much yet and I've got goosebumps you are a living breathing example of someone who has so much courage and who is choosing to be more than the life lessons that have been presented to her.And I'm kind of in, I'm kind of in, or of you carry, I think a lot of us, Find it hard to dig, deep for that strength, to keep on going.But you're like this shining Beacon of Light, which refuses to stay in the dark.Yeah, thank you.That's what my aim is and my purpose is.I would love to dive into the activities and the strategies that you used to help you with your your trauma and to help you move through pain.It seems like there's a theme of creativity here that really does assist you in unpacking everything that's gone on in your life and allowing you to really positively shared what no longer is needed and tell me if I'm wrong but Discover It understand its purpose Chabot and then choose to put something else in its place.Yeah.I know there are going to be listeners who are just amazed that you're in a great place after what you have been through in your life, and probably thinking, well you've mentioned,Julia Cameron, you've mentioned my writing your Memoir,you've mentioned painting by numbers.But if you can just describe to us how these activities really helped you to uncover what needed to be released in your life.So just got up writing, three pages.Every day just did it every day, you know, whatever came out.Sometimes I write I don't even know what I'm writing about today and just trusting that it's opening the creativity process and I don't know what it's going to look like, and then I got guided to do the paint by numbers and I started off doing the sunflowers, my friend had passed away and then I'd go onto eBay.And I'd have a look and what happened Bobby was, I kept sort of getting guided to these little portraits of little girls and stuff.And so as I'm going through them, a different part of my childhood was opening where I could feel more love for my sisters.Because I'm one of eight.So, I've got four sisters and I had three brothers.I have four sisters and three brothers.Oh well, are you the middle child?I'm number seven.What number are you number four?So I just kept doing them and then I'll get Guidance with staff but one of the most powerful ones was a woman a woman.A woman with the Libera scales and a blindfold.So, with her, when I was doing her,that's where I got guidance to go and catch the train.And a man was sitting on there, and I just heard this voice pedophile.So, got off the train and I thought that was really weird.And then my daughter rang me and told me about my ex-partner,what he'd done.So it was like, all these things were leading up.So I just kept, I do one painting and see what would happen.Is almost like spiritual guidance on what to choose,so I'll do the journaling.And then whenever stuck came up, it would come up present.Why?I'm painting and then I'll go to the beach and stuff.And sit there.Early morning, doing photography to fill my cup up with love for self-care.But every painting that I did represented some part of myself that needed addressing I guess which was all covered, which I didn't know and my last one was this this lady here.Here.That's when I stepped into the domestic violence that came up and this one was one of the, this is the empowered impact.So yeah, it was just daily acts of writing every morning as soon as I got up and then just having nothing on my pocket whole year free of no expectations from anyone.So I was able to just go with the flow and be alert to hear.He guidance, I guess and feel it and I would go and spend a lot of time in the, on the mount.The botanical gardens just around nature and that would fill up my cup with the energy from the,from the mountain.Yes.So just, I don't know, like I didn't even realize the painting was going to turn into something.I've actually got them as journals now on Amazon, they just blank journals.It's interesting.You said a couple of things letting go of expectations or you had no expectations, which I think creates an amazing space for personal growth.And also, I think doing something creative, or even something that takes our Focus away from what we think is the important everyday life stuff can really put us in that meditative state.So for instance, if someone kind of thinks now I mean I've got a pencil in my hand, if I start, doodling, I'm not even really conscious of what I'm drawing on the paper.But allows my mind, just to go really deep because Zoned in on the doodle that I'm doing the doodle that I'm doing.It's like, for instance, if I go for a walk, especially in nature, you've mentioned, you love the beach of the mountains, it really provides an opportunity just to it is like a walking meditation.So I love that through these creative Pursuits.You seem to be so open to your higher self and any guidance from Spirit and the god Was energy that really is a great advertisement for diving into things such as such as the artists.Wait can you tell us more about who Julia Cameron is and what she offers.Okay, so Julia Cameron.So she's an older lady and I just look at her like a mother figure for me.So what it's about it's about self-love and discovering like who you are.It's about breaking codependency.So the more you tap into your higher self into your spiritual path, a lot of addictions fall away.Because a lot of addictions are coming from that inner child,that's trying to feel something like a connection or something.So, she teaches you how to love yourself like, with some exercises, like, take yourself for a walk every day.Take yourself out for an artist Day date where you go out for lunch or breakfast on your own?It was really weird at first because I'm like, Us like a look like I've got enough friends, but it didn't bother me.I just went through it, and now I need to do it every week and I love it.What do you get from taking yourself out for a meal?Now, I mean, as you said, at first, it was it probably a little bit awkward.I've been in that situation and it can be like, oh no, the world is looking at me, but what is the experience like for you now taking yourself out?Obviously, it's such a wonderful Act of self care and self-love what other Gifts that it brings to you when you're sitting there at a table and eating a nice meal.It's not taking responsibility for yourself.So give those things to yourself, instead of expecting others to give it to you, or like, I'm a giver, I'm always giving.And it's was challenging for me to give to myself.So I just sit there and I let the uncomfortable feeling come and go, sometimes, I'll just do some journaling there and I'm just in my own little world, it's actually beautiful, but what happens?Excuse me.Is of sort of going to catch up with old friends and stuff and I felt I had to let them go like with love because there was no no depth to a lot of the conversation and a lot of my friends still like to live how they've lived.So to my sister's like just keep partying and getting drunk and stuff where I don't do that.If I do have any alcohol, very rare, it'll be like two drinks and that's all yes.So taken myself out, it's sort of like a really need to do it now because it's like, don't forget.It yourself.Plus I've got three cats now, three black cats.So I really have to take time for myself.Otherwise when I if I'm just stuck at the house so my head gets done in love it and if anybody goes to like, can I come with you?It's like sorry.No,I'm not here to feel other people's voids.I'm here to connect with myself so it seems now like you're almost going out with your best friend and you'll enjoy the conversation.Yeah, you'll enjoy the activity, you'll enjoy the food and then you don't have To sit there thinking.Oh my god, when do they want to leave?Because I want to go home now.It's so good and even like, I like to walk into little up shops and have a look around as well, but also like,I like to just go with my own flow and I like, I like to go walking in the rain forest, like, at the mountain, into the waterfalls and stuff, and that can take a good two hours and I don't want anybody that I've got to worry about, you know, and that or I'll change my mind sometimes.Like, hang on, doesn't feel right going there.Maybe I shouldn't go there today but I listen to that and go somewhere else.I'd like to ask you about your Memoir,does it not only tell your story?But does it highlight the steps?You've taken to get to the great place that you're in now?Yes, but I want to tell you something really funny.I haven't read it all yet.I know, right.How do you publish a book without having read at all?I did it on Lulu.So you just upload your Your Word document and you cover and stuff.And I did edit it like the spelling and punctuation because I only went to you ate,my daughter, had a little look and she started picking up the errors and I said, you're not reading it until I'm dead.But I also did it authentically because everything in life to me is, everything's got to be so structured and so perfect.And I didn't want to do that.I just wanted to put me how I'm going to do it and fix the spelling mistakes and stuff.And I just did it like that, and it's in like running riding,but I haven't really read it all yet, but I'm going to because a lot of it, it's sort of had a Twist as far as I remember, because when you start writing like, Spirit takes over and a lot of my up, Bringing because there's a lot of domestic violence and my dad and all his siblings had been molested by their father,but it was a lot of compassion and it wasn't like a victim story.It came out like, as a matter of fact, this is what happened but with how, I could see how courageous they were to all stick together and still support their mother and father,financially and have them included in our life.So I'm looking forward to reading it.Tell me, where if others want to read it, who are listening,where do they get it from,it's on lulu.com lulu.com and What's the title of the Memoir called my journey and it's Carrie Watson.It's a purple purple book with the love heart digital design.Love heart that my son designed perfect.So carry people can go to lulu.com and find my journey by you Carrie Watson.So before we go, can I ask what bit of advice?Would you give to an empty nest mum in this phase of Life?Who may be restricted, discovering herself and who she is to spend time?Discovering who you are?And what you like regardless of, like, yeah, age like, even your clothing breaking out of the norm really, it's the only opportunity.You have to get to know who you are.Like, I don't know if you've heard Wayne Dyer, but it's like don't This story inside all those things that we keep buried, if they stay buried, they manifest into illness, you know.So it's like digging it out a little bit at a time and nurturing that part of yourself and be selfish in have time for you, you know, don't people please,thank you so much Carrie.It's been a real pleasure talking to you.As I said earlier,you just really inspirational in how you went from break down to break through and what you've created in your life.Not only that, but just how in tune, you are with yourself,is quite incredible.And I love the idea of us all, just giving us selves and active self, love and self care by going out, maybe to a cafe or a restaurant on our own.And just seeing how that goes, maybe taking something like a book or like some artwork that interests you and just going going out for a coffee with your best friend.I want to thank you so much for coming on to the program.And I wish you a wonderful weekend,but thank you so much Bobby,and for all the listeners, thank you for tuning in and we'll see you next time on fly.Mom fly.