I Quit Sugar and This Is What Happened!

Bobbia: 0:38

Hello everyone and a warm welcome to this episode of Fly, mom, fly. Now. I have been on a bit of an adventure over the last three weeks, doing something vastly different to anything that I've ever done before, and this is it. So three weeks ago, I clicked sugar and I wanted to do an episode on my experience, and this beautiful lady sitting next to me today is the one who guided me through this lifestyle change, and her name is Sky Dale. You may remember, sky, she's been on the podcast before. Welcome back, it's so good to have you here. Thank you, bobby, I'm excited to be here again. Yes, it has been a very interesting three weeks and you have truly guided me through this process. I knew for a long time that I had to make certain changes. However, it felt way too hard and I knew it would take a while. It wasn't going to be a quick fix, like we're all after these days to get into a frame of mind good physical health, then good emotional and mental health. But I knew you, obviously from being on the podcast before. Not only do I know you, I trust you. I got that sense from you months ago when I first spoke to you, and you are just like me, a woman in this phase of life. You have experienced challenges yourself and I knew you were the real deal. So I bit the bullet, so to speak, and I started on your 21-day sugar detox challenge. I'm wondering if you can share with the listeners in a nutshell what this is all about.

Skye: 2:37

Sure, thank you for all that. I feel really honored that you jumped in. I was so happy I knew you were going to be all kinds of fun in the challenge. It really is. I had went through my own like an elimination type detox years ago and it had such an impact on me in such a short time, and so, as I'm working with women and connecting with different women, I just felt like this would be something that, in a way, you can get these quick gains or losses in a short time, get your energy up, just get that jumpstart that a lot of us need, because I feel like so many of us were trying to make those nice sustainable changes over time but we kind of peter out because we're not really seeing results and we're not feeling results, and so I think that many of us at this point in our life we're not really buying into the quick fixes per se, but it's also just hard to get the momentum. So I feel like introducing this challenge was like I thought, oh, this could be kind of fun, get some women together, and the more times I've held the challenge, I just I get so excited because I just see so much change in such a short time and it's so much more than about the physical changes or the weight loss. It's just the belief in ourselves to do hard things, to get started, to get momentum. So basically, it is cutting out all added sugars, a lot of natural sugars too. We're really trying to reduce sugar for these 21 days. It's kind of this little bubble, and we're cutting out all the bad oils, right, so that just wreaks so much the inflammation it causes. So we're cutting out the oils, we're cutting out the sugar, we're basically trying to get rid of all the processed crap out of our diet. And it's just this little window in your life that you can just kind of go to the other side and see how it feels to, I guess, to see how much of an impact these foods actually have on you, because the standard American diet we don't recognize it, because most of us have eaten this way our whole lives, and so it's just this opportunity to see the difference, to feel the difference, and in feeling that difference so many people are able to make sustainable, lasting changes. Because when it's that worth it and you feel that much better emotionally, mentally, physically, it makes change easier, because the benefits you know and for some of us who may be dealing with chronic pain, joint pain. I feel like a lot of women. Our age start, you know, we start waking up, we're getting a little achy, we're creaks and there's just different things that we deal with. You know weight around the middle of this and that that it just makes it so much more sustainable when you can, you know, feel such a difference.

Bobbia: 5:34

Absolutely true, and the first thing that I started to notice that was an eye opener was that putting sugar does not only affect your physical body. I to everyone. I have a, I have a book in front of me, a notebook, and I've divided it into four because I wanted to put points down of experiences and positive changes that I've had with my physical body, my emotional state, my mental health and my spiritual connection. And I'm pretty in tune with what's going on in my head and with my emotions and spiritually, because I work in this area every single day and I'm also a Gemini, so the two words apparently associated with Gemini's are I see and I don't just think sky, I analyze and I dig deep, and I'm on this quest with my little metaphorical magnifying glass, trying to find the answers constantly, until I come up with my big light bulb moment which sheds light on the mystery of me and why I'm doing what I'm doing, and not only one of them doing what I'm doing, but how to make it better. And you came in with the how to make it better, and I had to deal with a lot of other things that were coming up for me, but what I want to say, it has been one of the most profound experiences that I have ever gone through for the better.

Skye: 7:15

That's amazing. I feel like you are definitely I mean being a writer and just immediately I could tell how articulate you are. And I also feel like at this point in our lives I feel like we know ourselves so well, we're so on to our own shit. Whatever it's like, we do we really analyze and we want to. You know you're at this point where you want to make changes but, like you said, you really go inward and are analyzing the why's and the how's, and I love that about you.

Bobbia: 7:47

Yeah, so do you want to chat about the four different areas and you can offer any insights you have and also a bit more of the why behind what is happening from a food perspective? So the physical stuff. I'll let you know of the changes that happened to me and then I'm sure you've heard from other women and men who have gone through this other things that have happened to them. So what I noticed was I've lost seven pounds in just under three weeks, which for me was not restricting my diet by way of counting calories or going hungry or starvation. I was able to eat as much as I wanted to make me full. The funny thing was that After a while, after the first few days, I no longer eat between meals. I am able to sustain my hunger because it's just not there. The hunger has now gone from between meals, which I find is something wonderful. Can you explain why I wouldn't have felt so hungry?

Skye: 9:05

Definitely Cutting out sugar. Of all the things I've, you know my history of being a chronic dieter back in the day, out of all the changes I've ever done, the things I've ever tried, cutting out sugar made the biggest difference. Because, you know, you just don't recognize how. You know, besides all the hidden sugars, it is. You know, when we're giving ourselves sugar all day and eating all these refined carbs and, you know, processed foods, we have our blood sugar jacked up all day long it's spiking, it's crashing. You know, just like when people say certain meals with rice and things, how it's kind of a joke 30 minutes later you're starving. That is why, because it spikes our blood sugar so high. So all day long we're dealing with not just you know the hunger pains we're dealing with, you know we're all joused up and we're, you know, coffeeed up and sugared up and then we crash. So our energy is down and it's up and it just creates constant cravings. Because you know, I just remember back in the day they always went through all these. You know I'm a macabre abatic diet. You know all these different things, but the science is that sugar is addictive. It is scientifically proven. In fact. You will read in a lot of studies they'll say that it's, you know, however, seven times more addicting than cocaine. You know it's that release of dopamine. When we get and a lot of that's for comfort, a lot of it. You know, that's a lot of reasons why we find that we eat, for a lot of reasons other than hunger, for emotions and things, but it really is. It's nonstop all day. And when you cut that out and you're, you know, fueling your body with the healthy fats, the vegetables, the protein, when you're prioritizing protein and fats, it's keeping your blood sugar stable all day. You're not even in your mind. To me. I always tell people it takes a little bit for your mind to catch up with your body because we're just used to well. It's 10 o'clock. I always grab a snack, you know it's right. After lunch, it's two in the afternoon, I'm at work. I usually go in and it takes a little bit, and I remember it because I have been through this process, like I would definitely say. I mean I was all carbs, all, and not really sugar, sugar, but more hidden sugars, right Breads and things like that. I remember a time where I just couldn't believe I wasn't hungry for three hours and it was because my body was getting the fuel it actually needs. And it's, you know, and it's sustainable, yeah, it's, it's so. It's so the types of foods, and it's it's scientific for sure.

Bobbia: 11:33

You said something before about doing something because it's habitual, and we have been on all-joke pilot, for instance, reaching for a snack. I didn't necessarily experience that, but for the last maybe couple of years, I've needed to have an afternoon nap right after I've had lunch, which is interesting because I always thought why aren't I fueled with energy after lunch? Why, you know, I, I, I eat and lunch. Why aren't I on the go? And I'd always need to have a nap and I have. Just because I think I'm supposed to do it or I must need it. I have been thinking, oh, I should just go and lie down for half an hour. But I've been lying down and the dogs love it because they used to it. But I'm thinking, well, I don't mean that I can't actually go to sleep. And so I get up again and I continue on my day speaking of sleep, oh, my goodness. So anyone who is quite close to me will know that for years, probably for a good decade, I have had issues with sleeping and I would go to bed and then wake up at around that dreaded two p two am sorry stage and then go back to sleep. Just before I started your challenge, I was staying right up until 12 or one I couldn't actually go to sleep anymore, and then I'd finally fall asleep, wake up again in the middle of the morning, the early morning, and now I am pretty tired by about 9, 30, 10 o'clock. I know I'm going to be going to sleep soon. Turn off the light, go to sleep. I'll wake up to go to the bathroom, but then I'm back in bed and I'm going to sleep and that has been a lifesaver. I I'm surprised I have not heard an orchestra of angels singing. I was so happy for me, because I'm not going to wake up to be a Nike bitch anymore. Exactly.

Skye: 13:39

Oh, and it's. You know, it's amazing how much our sleep affects everything. When we're talking about going through a period of our lives where our we feel like our hormones are so out of balance, you know, they're so affected by our sleep, you know. And so, to be able to get to that point where you're more restful, and you know, you know, I feel like part of that for myself anyway, I recognize the same thing with sleep and I felt like I was snacking a lot more into the evenings. I was snacking just kind of throughout the day. You know what I mean. I just I don't think I ever went more than an hour without grabbing something, you know. And I feel like when we really start regulating our food and I'm telling you, your body regulates itself, like you said, you're not counting, you're not, you know, you don't have the strict meal plan. You're able to eat until you're satisfied. But when you start doing that, I just feel like your digestive system, everything, just, you know it's a little bit of a process, as you know, you know, within those first couple weeks, but then your system just is, it's just on a better pattern. You sleep better, you fall asleep easier and times that, and I'm. You know, I don't claim to have this all in the bag, and so at times when I have a day that I struggle, why does my sleep get affected? Like I always recognize that, you know my digestive system, immediately I go to bed not feeling great. I don't sleep great, and so I think it's just a testament to how you know eating whole foods, cutting out all this garbage. You know it's just amazing, and sleep is. That's huge. I get it. I totally get it.

Bobbia: 15:17

Now I have been on medications for sleeping before and I've also taken things to help me do number twos, and that's another issue I share with my close girlfriends. I feel sorry for my friends. Actually I think I'm sharing too much. So I also had problems with that and I would take a laxative and then obviously that would work, and then it wouldn't work and I would buy those powders that say you'll be on the on the loofah like 24 hours and then you'll lose five stone and it was like, wow, this is great, none of those work. But I would like to go to the doctor and for them to say we need a urine sample, please, bobby, and a stool sample, because I would get the Olympic gold medal for being hydrated and for doing the healthiest number twos I have ever seen in my life with ease and grace. That would be the biggest change.

Skye: 16:20

I love it. I love it. I hear so many people saying that and for myself also. Like I said, my husband too was kind of in shock because at first he was like this is getting a little descriptive. He's like why is this floating? What's happening right now? This has never happened and he's such a regular person. But I'm telling you just again we're eating foods that are nutrient dense. We're eating more vegetables. I mean, as we're doing the detox, we're really I talk a lot about healthy fasted proteins, but we really want to push the vegetables, the leafy greens. We're getting all those nutrients. We're getting so much more fiber. I can honestly say that growing up and I grew up in Alaska we didn't have a lot of fresh produce and I just never really implemented those kinds of foods into my life on a regular basis and, sadly, even when my kids were little, I just I wasn't raised that way. It was kind of an effort to do those things. But when you start eating foods that are high in fiber and nutrient dense, all of it, things just change and a couple of people have talked about doing the detox and then and actually saying well, I have not celiac IBS, right, I just beg people to, especially when you're dealing with. I have some autoimmune conditions also, but when you're dealing with digestive issues, you can take all the supplements the world. But if you're not like not that we're completely healing our gut as we are going through the detox, but there are a lot of components to the detox that help your gut to get into a healthier state. It's a process, but that has everything to do with just how we feel. Our digestive system I mean just everything actually is related to our gut. They call it the second brain. But yeah, if you've got digestive issues and IBS, go through a process like this and you will see a change for sure. So that's great.

Bobbia: 18:18

Absolutely All right. So that's the physical side of things. Now, as I mentioned before, one of the greatest surprises was in week two, the emotions that came up, because I was one of these people who has always eaten to suppress emotions. Food has been my friend and also alcohol has been my friend. So for Probably over 15 years I have been having a couple of glasses of wine at night. That would lead to me reaching for a bag of chips and eating those, and then I would be pretty full. But my husband would come home and then I would sort of have a second dinner because I'd already had the wine and the chips. I'd feel really good eating those. It would happen in the afternoon, probably around four o'clock, when you've been through the busyness of your day. I have done everything I needed to do, I've worked what I need to work on, and, especially in this empty nesting phase, my husband doesn't get home till about seven at night. So I'm here and it's silent, apart from very naughty dogs, but it's silent. And it was easy for me to drown out the silence with processed food and alcohol. And once I had given that up, boy was that confronting. I realized that I was going to have to deal with the emotions that were coming up. For me, it was not being near my children or my kids are in Australia. It was will we ever move back to Australia? Things are going a bit haywire down there at the moment. The cost of living is really high. Property is very expensive. Financially it makes sense for us to live here, but I, as much as I love it, do not want to be here for the rest of my life. I've got children. We've now got a grandbaby, as do you, so you know the importance of being with family. So I had to deal with that. And also I had to deal with more of the emotions that were coming up with dad's death from last year. So, to top it all off, my husband was in Brussels last week, so I am sitting here dealing with all this heaviness that's coming through. However, I knew from in the post nest plan part one. It's divided into three parts. Part one is all around acceptance and it's all about purging our empty nest pain, viewing emotions as not negative. It's about inviting the emotion in, asking the questions, learning from it, rolling from it, and then ultimately, it will move through because it is an energy and then you will feel better. So I loved that I had the book and which compliments your detox, because I'm able to go back and say, okay, this feels really horrible at the moment, but it's not getting pushed away or shoved down by way of food and alcohol and sugar and all those quick fixes which are never really a fix. I was able to process things in quite a quite a profound way and I have come out of it and I think, wow, it's kind of like in the movies where someone goes off into the wilderness by themselves and they have all these epiphanies and then they come back and they're a much happier person. So that was me. I went into my own wilderness, really, which was underneath the bed covers, but I knew what was happening. So, for those who think about doing something like this, there is a component for a lot of people. Some people may ignore it, but I choose not because I know how detrimental it is to ignore our emotions and how helpful it is to us as individuals to process them. Be aware that if you've been one like me to shove food and alcohol down your gob sorry, we use that word in Australia down your gob for the purposes of suppressing difficult and challenging emotions, then they will most likely come up for you, but that's not such a bad thing.

Skye: 23:06

I agree, I think there are so many reasons that we eat, like I said, other than hunger, and I think this process helps us to recognize what actual hunger feels like. But it also, like you said, it's because it rips this band-aid off. We use food for comfort when we're stressed. I mean, I went from I don't know what my actual weight, probably 160, I went up to almost 300 pounds in not very many years. I was eating out of comfort, I was lonely, I was not in a great relationship and it was my constant. It was something that always again, I mean now I learn a little more scientifically that you actually are getting that fix, even if you don't feel great afterwards. You're getting that hit of dopamine. I mean, there's reasons why we do it and why we repeat our behaviors, but you're absolutely right, it's ripping off the band-aid and just trying to process through it and allowing yourself those feelings and emotions that we bury and we push down. And I think you said it that way as far as just how much we push these things down, we don't let them gurgle up because we continue to numb out and I think of food as a drug, just like I would think of alcohol as a drug of choice, that type of thing. As far as it's our vice, it's what we're using to cover up and to comfort, and so I think it's an amazing process and I think at this point in our lives we deserve that healing and just to allow ourselves to go through it. I remember, I think after my divorce, I think I had numbed out so long that, as hard as it was to go through and as much pain as I saw my daughters go through, I was finally feeling something. It's really bizarre, but I remember actually just feeling thankful that I just felt like I hadn't felt anything for so long. It's really hard to. I think you understand. But yeah, I think it's a great part of a detox, and not just the detox, but as you're going through this and as hard as it sounds, as we're talking about ripping off the band-aid and it's not fun at the same time you're investing into yourself, not just your health, but you're building up your self-worth. You made yourself a commitment. You're valuing yourself enough to follow through with that commitment. That doesn't mean perfection. I will say that every time, because a lot of women will say I don't want to do this because I know I won't make it 21 days. Well, nobody makes it 21 days with perfection. It's all about progress, and so I have to always add that in there. But yeah, definitely, there's so much that gets uncovered, I think, when we really let ourselves feel.

Bobbia: 25:46

To use an analogy, it felt like when I was going through that difficult week I knew I was in a waiting room of sorts that Well to come in. Well, just it was there. It was here and I'd stepped through one door into the emotion. But there was a door on the other side and this waiting room was quite stark, quite bland, and that reflected in the kind of numb feeling that happens when I know I have to deal with these emotions because for me, I'm bringing them into my energetic body and it can feel challenging, but it is so worthwhile, so it's just a. I guess it's like waiting at the doctors before you get the oh, here's some medicine and you'll be right, you know, just in that period where you don't feel so great, but you know you'll be walking through a door to get the help you need and that comes by way of processing these emotions and then carrying on with this detox. So my next area is mental, the mental change and yes, people, I have had mental changes for the better, I think I just am quite mental normally anyway. I would love for you to comment on what you have experienced in relation to how we are, or how we tend to get at this phase of life with brain fog and sort of that confusion that sits with us. What are your experiences with more mental clarity?

Skye: 27:29

I mean definitely exactly that. I mean the cognitive clarity and energy that you get from going through this process, especially when you get past that first week. That first week, you know it could be four days, it could be seven days. Your energy is low, you're feeling foggy. When you come out of that it really is like you're sharper, your memory sharper. I talk a lot about you know, say, like I said. I mean I know the difference and, as I said, at this point in our lives we know ourselves so well and so you know, say it's, you know the day after and I had some foods the night before that I don't sit well with me. I can feel that the entire day at work I do not feel the same, I do not feel as sharp. I think more than that. Like I have always related the way I eat to how I feel and the more studies that I'm reading and learning about it's like mood disorders, anxiety, depression, I mean even more serious mood disorders are directly related to inflammation in our body, in our brain, and so I used to think am I just, you know, being hard on myself and feeling down in the dumps because once again I went off this diet, you know. But I always knew that it was more than that. Like I, physically I'm a pretty optimistic person. I mean I went through several years that I was not that person. But I can tell you that food does affect me that way. Now that I'm on kind of that other side and my life is good, I'm in a good place in my life when certain foods will make me feel anxious, they will make me feel down in the dumps, like, and to me it's almost like that sense of optimism and just glumen the difference. You know having that glumen doom. And so I feel, like you know, if you're in a tough place in your life, I feel like this can benefit so much of your outlook. You know your sense of excitement of you know what's next, what can I wake up and feel excited about? You know, and part of that is also, again, you know, the emotional part of just like challenging yourself and like we don't want to live in ground hunks day every day of our life. You know what I mean If you are lay in bed and you've got the same day to look forward to that you had yesterday and it wasn't a great day. You know I want women to get excited about. I don't care if you're 60, 70,. You can set new goals. You can be excited to wake up in the morning because you're challenging yourself to do something different. It's not going to be the same day. You're always going to be setting new goals. Once you get on this path, it's just like this never ending. You know self-improvement and it feels really good. That was a long answer, but yeah, I definitely feel that you know the clarity.

Bobbia: 30:08

Yeah, there was an interesting phase and it's carried on, but it was. I went hell for leather in the beginning. After a few days it was like my mind kicked in and I thought, right, what do I need to organize? So Frank had gone to Brussels and I was home on the weekend. I didn't want to go out. I wanted to protect my environment because I was going through a change. I went through the whole kitchen. I cleaned out my pantry. Now, this isn't just throwing out foods that I no longer need or are old, this was a total reorganization, buying some storage containers, just cleaning it all out. Then I went on to our whole medicine and cleaning pantry. Then I went on to our pots and pans, then I went on to my vanity cupboards upstairs and I was just decluttering, which again, and I love that that through side by side, there's a whole chapter in the post-nest plan on the delight in decluttering. And it's when we're moving through the difficult emotions in part one that decluttering I think it's a physical expression of getting rid of what you don't need and it really supports helping that emotion move through. And I did another draw last night. You know that draw, that you just throw everything in. I did that last night.

Skye: 31:32

I have a couple of them.

Bobbia: 31:34

The junk draw, the junk draw. Yes, I did my junk draw last night, so I'm really pleased to see that again. And I keep saying this this is not just the physical people. There are so many other boxes that this is ticking and one of the nicest boxes of all. And my last fourth here is this change in my connection with spirit. Have you had anyone say this to you before?

Skye: 32:09

Yes, I feel like you are more, you've been more articulate about it, you know, and you know spoken more about it, you know, and when you talk about going through and like the decluttering part also, it's like we're purging. You know, it's like this version of yourself that you are kind of stepping out of her and you are making room for new things. So I love the whole. You know, going through and decluttering, because it's like this innate thing. You knew that that's what you wanted to be doing. You know, I'm sure you didn't plan on going that far, but it felt good and that was a process you needed to go through, and so that's amazing. No, I really feel like I mean for myself. I will definitely say that I had such a deeper connection with myself and my sense of self through this process that I don't think and it's the self care, it's the self love, it's all of that. That, to me, is the spiritual part that has changed so much. It's when you value yourself more and you go through something hard like this, not just the detox, but I have no doubt you're going to continue down this path, and so when you start down this path, I just feel like so much changes and you just you view life differently and yeah, I mean I feel I have, I'm a totally different person than I was. I look at pictures of myself and I don't even see myself in those pictures as far as in my eyes I was just so unhappy, and you know what I'm saying. It's just a different confidence and self worth that you get and connection with yourself, absolutely.

Bobbia: 33:44

Yeah, someone mentioned to me a while back, and I always. You know, when you have something at the back of your mind and you know it to be true for you but you don't want to acknowledge it. And someone had said you know, alcohol numbs your ability to connect with source and your highest self and to those in spirit. And the biggest thing that I have noticed over the last three weeks, especially in the last week, is the ability to manifest quickly the dreams are, reading between the lines of life and getting all these messages from now. I don't have ghosts talking in my ear or anything like that, but there are signs and symbols that I'm, that I'm real, I've always been open to them, but it's like come on, spirit, I can't keep up. I can't keep up. Yeah, I'm trying to keep up, but what I'm noticing is that I can think of something and then it's, and then something happens and or something is provided, and even this morning now I have. I believe in God and I am of the Christian faith, but when I went to Salem last year, I went to why Not's Wands and they have handcrafted wands that that store has been there since 1690 something, and I bought a wand because I view magic as intention, prayer, faith, trust in God. That's what. That's what I mean when I refer to magic. And I wanted something that I could hold when I'm talking to God or when I'm praying or when I'm setting an intention. And there were lots there, but this is quite plain and I held it and I felt a really good energy about it. So, anyway, this morning I was sitting by my big window and I was thinking of things that I would like to draw into my life, coming from a place of being the best possible outcome, because those three words allow spirit and God to bring what is possible, even if we don't understand what is possible. So the best possible outcome is something I've probably never heard of before, but I'm willing for them to bring anything that's going to be best for me. And I thought about something and then, within about 10 minutes, I got a phone call in relation to that and it was about it was around a work opportunity and I was just putting it out there and I thought, oh, my goodness, this is accelerating and there may be people listening who think, oh, she's off the planet. No, it's just how we all individually talk to God and talk to those in spirit and I have noticed that the channels are way open and I truly believe it's because I'm honouring my physical body that that is having a knockoff on my spiritual body and therefore that channel between me and our quad source is a lot clearer to give and to receive.

Skye: 37:02

I love this conversation. I have been working so much on not necessarily just manifesting, but learning more about how to connect with our higher self and what it means to raise your frequency, and learning that when we manifest it doesn't mean that things are out there Everything is available. But it's like when you start feeling a certain way and a certain amount of gratitude and happiness and so say your frequency is up here rather than down low, when you're feeling depressed and anxious, you're connecting with the different things that are available. Like you said, and I just love that I do the same thing with Our subconscious. You know it's like we look for what is in our subconscious. So if we have that mentality, we're going through a time in our life where you know nothing's working out. Everything is so hard and you know I never get a break that your subconscious is always looking for evidence of those things, and so when you start working on yourself and feeling good about what you're doing, it's like you just start, your subconscious is looking for things to play out and you just. Everything becomes more of a match for you, and I've just been so excited about learning about these things because, like you said, we don't get to decide how it's going to play out. It's not up to us to decide and say I want this and this and this to happen. It's like we have to trust that it's going to happen the way it's meant to happen and the way that God wants it to happen for us, but we have to believe that that's possible. It's just, it's all, like you said, just learning to connect with your higher version of yourself and just believe that it's there for you. You deserve it. It's available. Yeah, I love all of what you just said. That's beautiful.

Bobbia: 39:00

And obviously, being human, we're all prone to the habitual unhelpful thought patterns that do come into our minds. But there are different techniques you can use, and one I love is do you remember the episode of Friends where they were taking the couch up the stairs, the sofa up the stairs, the pivot? Tell me why.

Skye: 39:20

I don't have the yeah, I'm not sure Okay.

Bobbia: 39:24

So pretty much the whole episode is focused on them moving this sofa. That's way too big to get up the stairs. It's a staircase in a New York City apartment building, so it's quite narrow and difficult and Ross keeps shouting out for, I think, with Chandler and Rachel to pivot. But just in his voice it's pivot, pivot, and every time, every time I notice that I'm going down a path of thought that is not going to be for my highest good, it's like in my mind, pivot, pivot, and then it wants to make me laugh and then I think, well, hang on, okay, what could this actually be If I go down the path of lack, because that's often what it's about, that a need is not being met. Let's think about what actually I do have right in front of me at the moment. So there are ways and means to do that. But look, I just want to thank you so much. Would you summarize your own personal experience and how it has changed your life in a couple of sentences for our listeners?

Skye: 40:34

I think starting down the path of we can't really on a dime change our sense of self-worth. It really is in doing. It really is in action. I always say you can't find motivation from looking at other people and outside sources. It really does. I was waiting for years. It really does come from doing. You really have to take that first step. It leads to the next step. You start opening up for you, like we were talking about when you do make a move in that direction, to just have the courage to trust in yourself and your abilities to do hard things.

Bobbia: 41:12

Yeah, and I think if you can dedicate seven days from my own personal experience I think, maybe seven days to get through this challenge, then you'll just fly through the rest of them, I think once you've done the first seven days, in my experience, the cravings that as sorry. I should mention that I'm specifically focusing on the craving side of things and the newness of it all and the uncomfortable nature of giving up certain foods If you can allow yourself seven days, it's really the blink of an eye in a whole lifetime to set you on such a fantastic path.

Skye: 41:54

Yes, I would like to ask you too, During that first week I mean, you've talked about you you know it had been 10 to 15 years that you kind of had this pattern with you know, the snacks in the evening, the wine, how did you keep that commitment to yourself during those first few days, during that first week, when it was the hardest? Like, what were you telling yourself at that point?

Bobbia: 42:15

Yeah, I was trying to get around it and, if you remember, I tried on the first night. I tried to get around it by messaging you to say can I please have vodka? I've Googled and it has no sugar and whatever. But you rightly so. And I think it's just the words. And I must say to everyone you have support every step of the way, no bullshit skies like the sister that you need to hold your hand. Through this experience, and I don't think it was a thought pattern. I really do believe, honest to God, hand on heart, that it was having someone that I could ask a question or pose a question to the group or share something, and people would say well done or anything else that got me through it. So I talked to you about the vodka and you said, look, yeah, sure it may be okay, but it's going. Alcohol is going to lessen your results and it will lead you to possibly make poor choices with your food, when I thought she's right. And then so every night from there on in, I've been having sparkling water with fresh lime juice or new addiction, a new addiction. And then by Friday night, by Friday night, something happened and I was feeling sorry for myself and alcohol was always my go to, especially Friday night. Woohoo, wine and wine. So it was everything. And that was the second and last time that I had a craving for alcohol. I went out the following Tuesday to a tavern for trivia, took my own sparkling water, because they serve some weird sort of sparkling if they've got it with the weird flavors and the unnatural flavors. Then that went out a couple of nights ago to another restaurant, had lemon and sparkling water again and I just don't. Oh. And I went to a big party as well and oh, I love Long Island ice teas. And once again our friend, god loving, made a whole picture and he said to someone else oh, poor Bobby, it's like no, I'm not having this, do not pour me a glass of that. And I had a really good time. Do you know what I realized? I'm just as weird and nutty not on alcohol as I am on alcohol. So it was never the alcohol, it was just me.

Skye: 44:42

It didn't tone it down. It's one of those things too, and I think when you're going through these, this kind of process too, and you're feeling good and you're feeling energy, you're just not really willing to kind of risk feeling like crap the next day. I mean that to me is an incentive when I do indulge, not nearly like I used to, because I do feel good and it is, you know, the last thing. If I have a second, I wanted to ask you, you know, going into for myself, I would have been the first person to say living life, cutting out sugar, getting off processed foods, is unrealistic. I mean, I always felt that way. I just felt like, you know, you're going to be in bird seed and it's just unrealistic, you know. And now that I've, you know, adapted and it's been time, I've, you know, navigated and found the sustainable changes, can you now see a future where you continue maybe not, you know, the 21 day detox, cutting out, complete. But can you see a future of less processed foods, more whole foods, you know, keeping the sugar out of your diet, because my goal is always to, and progress is progress, you know, some people are going to just be more aware of, some people are really going to grab on and I'm just curious how you feel about the future.

Bobbia: 45:56

And that's a really good question and, I think, something that can help all people considering doing this challenge or something like it is to do this, and this is what I did. Personally, I created enough pain around remaining the same as I was. What's it going to feel like if I continue to put on weight? What's it going to feel like if I continue to not sleep? What's it going to feel like if I'm just disappointed in what I've done the night before, constantly? What's going to happen and how painful will it be to remain the same? And then I thought about doing the challenge and there was no real fear around that because it was a win. Regardless of if I slipped up one day or if I did something else another day, I was going in the right direction for my own health and well-being. So, to answer your question, I will be carrying on. The bonuses have been far too great. I feel like I've won a really big lottery prize and someone may come up to me and say, okay, I want some of it back and no, I don't. I don't want to get back and I don't discount. There maybe times when I think you know what, I might have a drink tonight at this party, but I would go for something like the vodka and sparkling water and lime. So that's being social, and although I can be social without alcohol, now I've realized but it's something that I can do to join in. Or if I want to Processed foods, I would say at a push if there's nothing else available. For instance, I'm flying to Sydney on the 16th of October to see my girls and I was thinking, okay, what's going to happen on the flight and I thought, well, I'm going to take some, maybe hummus and celery carrots and that sort of thing, but I might have to eat something that's not part of this plan and you know what. That's okay, but I will keep going in the direction of feeling good because that's oh, as I said, it's been such a game changer and life has certainly changed for the better.

Skye: 48:20

So moving forward to. I just want to say to people who are looking at lasting changes through a process like this I always look at it as 90-10. Some people do 80-20, but I still have health goals and I feel too good to you know. So 90% of the time I am eating to honor what I'm doing and my goals and my commitments to myself. The other 10% of the time I do not beat myself up. If there's a birthday party, I'm going to have cake. You know what I mean. If you don't want to do a lifestyle that you're going to be resentful of, that you're going to feel like you're white knuckling it because that's not a lifestyle, right? I mean, it's got to be sustainable and you've got to be able to not restrict yourself all the time. So, yeah, that's great. I'm so happy to hear that.

Bobbia: 48:58

Bobby, I'm just grateful for you. So thank you so much. So people will be listening who want to get in touch with you. Can you give your website address, please?

Skye: 49:08

Yes, I'm at yourhealthmattersbiz and that's B-I-Z and my next challenge I'm going to. It's kind of funny because it starts November 1st, the day after Halloween, and it ends the day before Thanksgiving, but I still, you know, I think it's great, I think it's going to be awesome because we're going to be prepping that week before. It's going to help people kind of start turning it down a little bit. So but, yeah, visit my website. I've got information about that and the community of support afterwards. That's another thing that we have going on, just to keep people connected because, like you said, it's accountability, it's the support I think that all of us need to make lasting changes, period it probably is Well.

Bobbia: 49:45

I appreciate your time today and thank everybody for listening about how I quit sugar with Skye's help, and we look forward to connecting with you next time on Fly, mum Fly.